This is MY (Pity) Party and I'll Quit If I Want To

 

Delia Latham
July 2026

 

I was tired. Seriously exhausted...and not only physically. I had reached a point of utter depletion where writing is concerned. So I was throwing myself a final pity party and planning a quiet exit afterward.

Then my pastor called. He's the last person I expected to be interested in my writing career. But he said, "You know, I really feel like you need to get back into your writing." 

Huh?

"I have been writing." Oh, so quick to defend myself!

"Have you?" he said quietly.

I nearly stopped breathing, because in that moment, I realized something. Yes, I released a novella as part of a Christmas collection with two other amazing authors late last year. And yes, I've been tiptoeing around another story. But I hadn't seriously dived in...not really. Not headfirst, to the point of total immersion.

So I had a problem. You see, I've always been taught that you shouldn’t say "no" when the man of God asks you to do something that will help the church, or further your walk with God. Given that mindset, I couldn't just tell him I didn't want to talk about it because I was very busy having a farewell-to-writing pity party.

Instead, I almost grudgingly promised to pray about it. And since I'd promised, I did. I got serious with God about my writing. In fact, I just outright admitted the worst: “Lord, I'm tired. Tired of writing book after book, and seeing far too little response. Tired of the vast imbalance between the amount of time I spend writing (and performing writing-related tasks) and the amount of sales and reader response I see in return. Tired of sinking heart and soul into penning books I truly feel You directly inspired and intended to help others in some way, only to watch them sit on the Amazon ‘shelves’…unread.”

I was a mess. With my 69th birthday looming over me like a dark, ominous cloud, I was well aware that the best part of my life was behind me. So yes, I was wallowing. But I had promised my pastor, so I told God that if HE still wanted me to be writing, if HE still had words He needed ME to pen, then I needed confirmation. Because, you know...I was TIRED! 

I laid it on the line, wiping tears and blowing my nose into a dozen tissues while I talked to God. Then I got up and went about my day. My promise to my pastor was taken care of, and besides, it always comforts me to talk to the Lord, even in those times when I’m moody, cranky, and behaving like a spoiled child.

No more than a few hours later, my phone rang. The call was from the powers-that-be within the Faith, Hope, and Love Christian Writer's organization. I attended their Phoenix conference last year and was immensely blessed. But I didn't plan to go again because...in addition to a shortage of funds...I was TIRED! Too few sales, too little income, too many years of service with too little return.

Having just prayed my little prayer of semi-surrender (but mostly just a whiny “I quit” speech to God), I was stunned to learn that I had won the annual “scholarship,” meaning my registration fee for the 2026 conference was paid in full.

I’d asked for confirmation, and for at least half a second, I thought I had it. (How quickly we let Satan talk us out of our victories!) Until I remembered that I still had to get to Phoenix from Texas. Plus, there remained the matter of hotel room fees—not inexpensive, despite the generous room discount provided to conference attendees by the hotel. So I quickly wrote it off…again. “Thank You,” I told my heavenly Father. “I appreciate the tremendous blessing…and the confirmation (of sorts, since I wouldn't be using it).” But ultimately... Thanks but no thanks, God. Ouch.

But if you know God, you know He doesn’t give up that easily.

A week later, I received an email from the same FHLCW conference organizers. Apparently, the hotel awards two free nights to one conference attendee each year. And no, I didn’t win it. But… the sweet author who did win the free room turned it down because she believed God meant it to go to someone else. And guess who God blessed with the room?

Uh-huh, you’re right. That would be me.

Needless to say, I was starting to get super excited. A dear, sweet friend who lives in California offered to buy my plane ticket, but I was almost sick with anxiety just thinking about trying to navigate not only JFK Airport, but also Denver, since there’s no direct flight into Phoenix—which also is less-than-fun to navigate. Still, by now I was thinking maybe I should be listening a little more closely to the strong sounds of confirmation fairly booming from the throne room.

So…my husband took the reins. “You know, we haven’t been to California in a few years. Maybe we should just drive out there. I’ll take you to the conference and go visit my family (an easy drive from Phoenix) while you’re there, then pick you up when the conference is over. After that, we’ll just go on to California and see your family.”

All sewn up. Taken care of. A complete, unexpected, unbelievable confirmation blessing! Because, let me just get this out of the way right up front, y’all: I am NOT one of those people who win whatever is available to be won. I’m just not. Never have been. I know people who are, but it’s never been me. So believe me when I say I remain in utter shock and awe that this wonderful blessing happened to ME.

Because God knew I was not simply tired, I was soul-weary. And He wanted me to know that He’s not quite finished with me yet.

Maybe by the time I arrive at the conference I can pick my chin up off the floor.

Funny thing. Once it all came together, I found my writing energy restored, as well as my love of putting together words to make sentences that become paragraphs that become chapters that become books. When God does something, He does it all the way.

I am blessed, and so very, very grateful!